I've been working on a particular piece of writing for you guys for a few days now..and it's going to be pretty fun, and informative about me. In the meantime, I keep running into distractions surrounding Dillhole.
I'd like to be able to get him out of my head, sadly I will admit he does still occupy part of my brain, and for most of the time. To the point where occasionally I have tunnel vision. This is something I'm working through with Daddy, and even have times where I step away from the computer all together, which means no writing or picture editing either, which bums me out, because I enjoy those things!
So while I'm on the computer doing whatever it is I happen to be doing, I start thinking..
I wonder if there's anything new over on Fetlife...I have quite a few active friends and my news feed is always pretty busy, I check it out a few times a day. I really enjoy checking out the new and random writings of people, and I like clicking random pictures and getting lost in hours of fantasy.
More often than not what I find myself doing though is popping over to his page..you know. Dillhole. I know I should just avoid it. I feel like I need to know what he's up to though, I feel like it's a step in protecting myself.
That's ridiculous I know, but doesn't make it any less of a thought in my mind.
Today when I popped by his profile to check out if there was anything new, I found a writing. It's always good to know what's in your enemy's mind, so I read it..that's when I found this.
I'd like to be able to get him out of my head, sadly I will admit he does still occupy part of my brain, and for most of the time. To the point where occasionally I have tunnel vision. This is something I'm working through with Daddy, and even have times where I step away from the computer all together, which means no writing or picture editing either, which bums me out, because I enjoy those things!
So while I'm on the computer doing whatever it is I happen to be doing, I start thinking..
I wonder if there's anything new over on Fetlife...I have quite a few active friends and my news feed is always pretty busy, I check it out a few times a day. I really enjoy checking out the new and random writings of people, and I like clicking random pictures and getting lost in hours of fantasy.
More often than not what I find myself doing though is popping over to his page..you know. Dillhole. I know I should just avoid it. I feel like I need to know what he's up to though, I feel like it's a step in protecting myself.
That's ridiculous I know, but doesn't make it any less of a thought in my mind.
Today when I popped by his profile to check out if there was anything new, I found a writing. It's always good to know what's in your enemy's mind, so I read it..that's when I found this.
Sorry it's a tad hard to read, unfortunately I can't make it any bigger. Hopefully you're able to see what's going on.
The basic gist is that he's spitting out words that were MINE from several conversations we had, where these words NEVER once came from HIS mouth, always from MY mouth, and probably the mouth of MY mother. Yes..I haven't really gotten into that here yet, but my mother is a practitioner of BDSM as well. It is something I can discuss at a later time, but that's not what this post is about.
I've been trying VERY hard to watch what I have been saying about Dillhole. I have stated that what I'm saying is mostly MY OPINION, which I'm entitled to, and anyone is more than welcome to disagree with me. I have NEVER once called him a liar, which HE has done to me.
I have a lot more to say about the whole writing, but this part made me SO angry that I HAD to say something about it.
My step dad used to always ask me if something would matter in 5 years.
If the answer was no, then let it go.
If the answer was maybe, think about why.
If the answer is yes, then fight for it.
So, will this matter in 5 years? That he stole my words and passed them off as his own? No, that wont matter. That he's lying about who he really is? It wont matter to me in 5 years.
What WILL matter to me in 5 years? He is a predator that is preying on women, and is using writings like the one I snipped from above where he is lying about what he believes in to lure them in. If he's done it in the past, if he's doing it now, chances that he'll still be doing it in 5 years are pretty damn high, and as such, this IS something that will STILL matter in 5 years, 10 years, or however long it takes to get people to understand that he is a predator!
I have tried to be objective, I've tried not to outright say he's a liar, but the crap that he keeps posting is laughable. He claims he's a victim? At least he was, there's no record of that anymore, because as well as being a Dillhole, he's also a coward. He's deleted anything that stood for anything and is now hiding.
He had writings about awareness about false allegations, and about abuse against men, and several other types of posts of that nature, I know because I've continued to be distracted by him. I have copies of these writings for anyone that would be interested in them. He deleted them as soon as he was aware that Little One had seen them. She made a comment on one post about him lying and hiding behind false facades and as soon as she did he deleted her comment and blocked her.
He can't handle the truth.
He can't think for himself.
Unless of course he can twist something to fit his sick agenda. I'm not exactly sure what runs through the mind of predators, because well..I'm not one.
I'd like to let you all know though that I very much hate that he's able to occupy so much of my mind and time still, I'm in the process of seeking counselling to help me cope and process the trauma that I have suffered due to Dillhole. I hope anyone he's involved with in the present or future is smarter than I was and doesn't allow themselves to be affected to the degree that I have been.
I'm so very lucky that I have Daddy who understands how difficult this situation is, he listens patiently, and is very caring and forgiving for mistakes that Sissy and I are making in communication while we're dealing with these issues.
The basic gist is that he's spitting out words that were MINE from several conversations we had, where these words NEVER once came from HIS mouth, always from MY mouth, and probably the mouth of MY mother. Yes..I haven't really gotten into that here yet, but my mother is a practitioner of BDSM as well. It is something I can discuss at a later time, but that's not what this post is about.
I've been trying VERY hard to watch what I have been saying about Dillhole. I have stated that what I'm saying is mostly MY OPINION, which I'm entitled to, and anyone is more than welcome to disagree with me. I have NEVER once called him a liar, which HE has done to me.
I have a lot more to say about the whole writing, but this part made me SO angry that I HAD to say something about it.
My step dad used to always ask me if something would matter in 5 years.
If the answer was no, then let it go.
If the answer was maybe, think about why.
If the answer is yes, then fight for it.
So, will this matter in 5 years? That he stole my words and passed them off as his own? No, that wont matter. That he's lying about who he really is? It wont matter to me in 5 years.
What WILL matter to me in 5 years? He is a predator that is preying on women, and is using writings like the one I snipped from above where he is lying about what he believes in to lure them in. If he's done it in the past, if he's doing it now, chances that he'll still be doing it in 5 years are pretty damn high, and as such, this IS something that will STILL matter in 5 years, 10 years, or however long it takes to get people to understand that he is a predator!
I have tried to be objective, I've tried not to outright say he's a liar, but the crap that he keeps posting is laughable. He claims he's a victim? At least he was, there's no record of that anymore, because as well as being a Dillhole, he's also a coward. He's deleted anything that stood for anything and is now hiding.
He had writings about awareness about false allegations, and about abuse against men, and several other types of posts of that nature, I know because I've continued to be distracted by him. I have copies of these writings for anyone that would be interested in them. He deleted them as soon as he was aware that Little One had seen them. She made a comment on one post about him lying and hiding behind false facades and as soon as she did he deleted her comment and blocked her.
He can't handle the truth.
He can't think for himself.
Unless of course he can twist something to fit his sick agenda. I'm not exactly sure what runs through the mind of predators, because well..I'm not one.
I'd like to let you all know though that I very much hate that he's able to occupy so much of my mind and time still, I'm in the process of seeking counselling to help me cope and process the trauma that I have suffered due to Dillhole. I hope anyone he's involved with in the present or future is smarter than I was and doesn't allow themselves to be affected to the degree that I have been.
I'm so very lucky that I have Daddy who understands how difficult this situation is, he listens patiently, and is very caring and forgiving for mistakes that Sissy and I are making in communication while we're dealing with these issues.
As always..
Much Love,
~*~ Kat ~*~
Much Love,
~*~ Kat ~*~