Yes, that's right.
I let him be a Dillhole.
It wasn't alright.
If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about then you might want to check out "I dated a Dillhole-Part 1" and "I Dated a Dillhole-Part 2"..so I suppose this is the third installment. We'll call it a trilogy of Dillhole-ology. Hopefully I don't write like Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) and end up with a fourth part to my trilogy!
Being a Dillhole is something that certainly came naturally to him. I'm sure he could have curbed it some if he had actually cared to do so, but it's obvious to me now that he had some sort of sick and twisted agenda in mind before he ever actually became involved with anyone here. My theory on the Dillhole is that because he's known Little One for a while (before she officially became involved with Daddy and I) he was interested in pursuing a relationship with her.
Let's face it, she's a fantastic submissive! She's been very well trained in a few different formal styles of service, has a fantastic memory, is patient and listens well with an ability to repeat what's been said verbatim, and has a strong natural desire to to want to serve and make others happy.
I have this strong desire as well, but finding a person that I connect with enough to want to serve them is more difficult than it is for Sissy because she's had more of a chance to explore that side of herself and to know what it is she's seeking in a dominant partner, I'm going on this journey with Daddy and we're learning together..I'm still having trouble articulating what exactly it is that I'm looking for.
So, I don't really think that Dillhole intended to encounter us with Little One, it seems so odd to me that she had just mentioned him to us a few days before, she posted online that we'd be attending a specific event, and then pop there he is..after not being seen or heard from in several months. To me, this looks like he'd been keeping an eye on her, and was just waiting for her to show up somewhere for him to get his hands on her again.
The three of us all work on our communication skills daily, that's the point of this blog, and we all sit down before bed every night and discuss the day, and if there are any issues that need to be cleared up.
This is not something that Dillhole was expecting to encounter. I feel that he walked in here expecting our poly relationship to work like his didn't.
Which is to say that it's like because he had dishonesty, and manipulation in his previous relationships that was how this one would work. I'm happy to say that his attempts at destroying this relationship did not work, but I'd like to share the manipulation and deceitfulness with you as they were red flags that there was an issue and I chose to ignore them..
I want to share with you the story of how because I was careless, I ended up being VERY hurt in the end. Not just emotionally, but physically and mentally as well. I was taken advantage of (in other words..that everyone will understand, even though I was technically in a 'relationship' with him.... *I WAS RAPED*). {This is NOT an easy thing to admit, or say someone has done to you, but when you get right down to the heart of it, that *IS* what happened.}
I want every one else that ever finds themselves facing red flags to *STOP* and *THINK* before moving forward!
KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!
Dillhole was charming. He's handsome, and he knows it. Within a few days of meeting Dillhole his second ex-wife (they're technically still married..but the divorce is coming I'm sure) made a public post (not naming names...but he was quick to share it and tell us it was about him) talking all about how she was married to a narcissis t.
BIG RED FLA G.
I should have bailed RIGHT THERE.
NO QUESTIONS!
I didn't...
I did read the writing, I thought it was a tad harsh, but recognized that the situation between them was a tense one and she was clearly not happy with him. This happens, so that part of the equation wasn't so bad for me as far as a warning goes.
What should have been my next
BIG RED FLAG
was how quick he was to start saying how he couldn't stand when people gossip or talk about other people, but he had NO problem telling us all about his wife, and her new relationships, and his ex play partner and her personal life with her Dom.
Another
BIG RED FLAG
here is when he was talking about his ex play partner, and intimate times they shared together..certainly none of my business, but I also didn't like that he was discussing how they were having these intimate interactions without her Doms knowledge or consent. Dillhole swore that it was her that insisted upon the lie, and that he just 'went along with it'.
Honest people DO NOT lie.
It doesn't matter if you're asked to by someone else, or if it's your idea, if you're staying true to yourself then you don't get stuck in these situations.
So, there's the start of it. Next there was talk about how this member or that member of the community have issues with him.
BIG RED FLAG!!
The names he was mentioning were people I know, and am rather close with though don't speak to often due to life being busy. I should have slowed down for an hour or two and sent some emails. I would have found out fast what this guy was all about; as everyone was quite willing to share information with Daddy and I once we did start asking around.
BIIIIIIG RED FLAG
number four I think we're on now..(nope, number 5!) and this doesn't apply to everyone, just watch how it's done, no public profile in any way. I understand that not everyone wants to share pictures, but you should at least have a profile where you can be reached by friends, and have some information written about you, including your age, relationship status, d/s status, orientation and your identification. That way people will know if you're roughly compatible.
I mean, if Dillhole's profile had said that he was a "36 year old confused as fuck swinger that wants to stick his dick in everything that moves, behind his wife's back, and lie to her about it, isn't really bi like he claims, wants a woman that will just let him take her whenever he wants and only opens her mouth to suck a cock or take a load of cum" then I'd have known right away we weren't compatible.
I'm *sure* there are some women out there that this would work for; I don't happen to be one of them, and I would have happily told him that straight up, except he had his profile deactivated.
Why?
So many people were 'slandering' his name and 'harassing' him that he couldn't take it anymore. So he said.
Which actually meant that people were starting to learn the truth about him and it was coming out so he was trying to hide.
So yeah...be able to do your research, if someone doesn't have a profile but is dropping names of people you know..then
TALK TO THOSE PEOPLE!
Your friends want to help you..they don't want Dillhole's to wreck your relationship!
RED FLAG
number 6, inconsistencies in stories. People..particularly Dillhole, like to talk about themselves. So let them do this; when they tell the same story more than once, listen to the small details. Are they the same? Ask questions..and ask the same ones each time, is the answer the same? It should be. If not, why isn't it?
With Dillhole, Daddy, Sissy and I all found it rather easy to compare stories, because he'd be texting all of us at the same time while the three of us were sitting together. Don't lie when you're doing this.
It's NOT smart.
Also, when women choose to call each other sisters, you need to understand that means they have a TIGHT bond. If you try and turn them against each other you're going to find yourself having a bad time. We protect each other, we laugh together, we cry together, and we'll kick your pathetic ass together too! Little One and I had several conversations comparing notes after each spending some time alone with Dillhole, though it seemed that I never got much alone time with him, so it was really just her telling me about the stuff he was complaining about while they were together.
RED FLAG 7 -
Spending time with his face in his phone or computer non-stop while he's with you. When you live with someone this is harder to get around, because life still has to happen. Daddy has to look at the laptop instead of my face quite often, but we do try and set aside tech free time. This was something that I requested with Dillhole, and I was met with being told I'm too controlling and dominant.
It's odd, because in the moment I asked him to please put away the phone and come cuddle I was feeling very insecure, unsure, vulnerable and scared. EXACTLY the opposite of how he described me in the same situation..so perhaps Dillhole needs to brush up on his body language knowledge.
I do have to admit, the first time I requested to play with Dillhole, he was an excellent play partner. Though I was not thrilled to be told that I was the 62nd person he'd played on. It's sort of like going to a prostitute and right in the middle of fucking her asking how many times she's been paid to do this...know what I mean?
He was sensual, he was attentive, he was responsive. He was gentle, yet firm, and brought out in me the true desire to want to submit to him. The second time was very much the same. I saw him play with Little One the same way, and give her lots of attention, snuggles and aftercare. I watched him be the same attentive, caring man playing on Daddy occasionally with lots of communication, and care taken afterwards. Even from the first time I had a play experience with him, the aftercare was left to Daddy. It's a good way to make someone feel rejected, vulnerable, and like an inconvenience to you.
These are exactly the sorts of feelings I started having right after the very first time we played.
That's a
HUGE RED FLAG
and it's number 8 already! When I tried to express my feelings, I was ignored which lead to writing, me basically being told that I'm rude, have no consideration for other's privacy and I should only speak when spoken to. For 4 days that was exactly as I did with Dillhole. There was no email, no text, and he even requested to speak to me on the phone one evening, but I refused. He finally sent me a half assed apology that was still blaming me, and it turned into water under the bridge that he expected I would just forget was even there.
During all this time..there's also the pet.
A girl that I ended up discovering for myself is really rather sweet, and even a bit naive *maybe*; she might just be stupid and ignoring the warnings, because she's *in love* with him and has him to herself..for now anyway. Dillhole was constantly telling Daddy, Sissy and I how annoying he finds this girl. He hates her voice, he can't stand it when she sings, he despises country music and it's her favourite.
He repeatedly told us how unhappy he was with her behaviour, how disappointed he was that she doesn't have a shower running and dinner ready for him when he gets home from work (which I always did for him the night he arrived here from work) and on top of it all, he told us how he wouldn't ever have a sexual relationship with her, because she fucks everyone and he has no idea how clean she really is.
This is a point that was later brought up after her and Daddy had a few sessions together and one of them was accidentally in the heat of the moment unprotected. Dillhole informed Daddy that he really shouldn't have done that because she's the kind of girl that 'gets around' in his words.
Maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but if you're considering taking on this person as your own submissive, they are collared to you as a pet, and are under your protection, is this a way you should be speaking about them?
If I ever found out that Daddy had said such cruel and hurtful things about me I'd never be able to forgive him.
Dillhole's favourite form of punishment is to also withhold affection, and attention, which he would do to this girl regularly for the most absurd reasons. Although, there were also several times where he would say to us that he was going to punish her for something; a few days later when I would ask what punishment she ended up getting she would say there was none, or not even a discussion of the supposed offence that deserved punishment.
His favourite way for his submissives to show him affection?
Kisses?
No pe.
Hugs?
Nope.
Sitting quietly at his feet?
Uh..Nope again.
Rubbing and sucking his cock?
**DING!**
We have a winner! There were several occasions where Sissy and I would be laying here cuddling with Dillhole where we would both have our heads on a shoulder and we'd be holding hands on his chest or both of us just lightly tracing our fingers over his skin, when our hands would be moved to his cock and we (but mostly just I) were told THAT was the only acceptable way to show affection to him. This is not something I'm particularly comfortable with because to me that's a form of sexual contact, which is not always what I'm going for when I'm looking to show affection.
I'm also not comfortable showing that level of affection to another man in front of Daddy, even though Dillhole was supposed to be my Sir, Daddy is the only man that truly holds the majority of my heart, and I'll never put anyone on a level higher than that which I would show Daddy.
The next
BIG RED FLAG
(the 9th I think?) is when he started telling Little One that she does too much around the house, without him ever considering the dynamics we have worked out, or the way we've decided to split chores or anything. He was telling her that things aren't equal, and questioning her doing more work around the house than me and me getting more attention from Daddy than her.
To be clear, *nobody* that is currently in this relationship thinks there's any issue.
Daddy says that we'll never be able to make it equal, as much as he'd like to be able to, because him and I are married and will naturally spend more time together; he cannot make it *equal*, but that he always does his best to make sure things are *fair*.
That means that if I get a date night with Daddy, Sissy gets a date night with Daddy too. We both take turns running errands with him, or we all go together, and we do our best at splitting up housework. Childcare is a tricky subject as both kids are old enough to show a preference for who they'd like to talk with, and usually they pick Little One, that's one that unfortunately I have no control over, so if that's a little unbalanced I feel bad, but do try my best to help out where I can when it comes to that.
So, I'm bossy, and controlling, and talk too much, and talk too much for other people. I've known for a long time that I'm an empath, I'm very good at being able to reach into people's minds, sort out their feelings and spit it out, all while being diplomatic, calm and assertive.
Assertive is the part that Dillhole doesn't like about me. When I have a problem I say so. Only not always. I've spoken some about the major issue Dillhole and I had, where we had a fight and never got a chance to discuss the issue one on one just the two of us. Well, the last full day he spent here happened to be Easter Sunday.
Daddy and Sissy had gone out to get coffee, I thought it would be the perfect time for him and I to sit down and work out this problem we'd been dealing with for about a week. I had very hurt feelings, was feeling rejected and vulnerable, and he had been very icy cold with me from the time he had arrived Saturday evening.
That Saturday evening was the night that Dillhole had brought his pet here with him, and we all ended up playing around and having what everyone assumed was a safe, consensual, fun time by all.
Once we got to the discussion that happened that day we learned that it apparently wasn't consensual or fun for all.
Let's back up some though..back to Daddy and Sissy being gone. I popped into the bathroom to pee as they were leaving, and when I came back into the bedroom after I was done, I sat on the bed with Dillhole. I went to try to talk to him about our issue, when he leaned over and kissed me. He pushed me back on the bed a little and proceeded to hook his finger in the waist band of my panties and pull them down, he quickly slid his finger in and out of me once or twice and before I knew it, he was hard and pushing his cock into me.
I did not stop him, though I know I should have, I did not feel at the time like I was in a position that I could say stop (or even call a safeword) because I did not feel like I would be listened to. I did not feel like I would remain physically safe if I had said stop, and because of that I'm struggling mentally with the fact that I feel allowed myself to be taken advantage of.
During the time he was fucking me, my tummy became more and more upset, there was an overwhelming wave of nausea and I was just barely able to make him pay attention and stop before I threw up all over myself, and the bed.
I was sitting on the side of the bed crying, wiping my face with a tissue when Daddy and Sissy came in. I was SO embarrassed that I couldn't even tell Daddy what had happened right away...just that I wasn't feeling well and needed to shower.
I stood in the shower for a long time letting the water run over me, I cried for a bit..then I was angry.
Then I cried more. I was angry with myself for not saying something.
I AM angry that I didn't stop him.
There were LOTS of signs that he was a Dillhole.
I allowed it.
When I stood up and said I was not allowing it anymore, that's when he tucked tail and ran. When I said I would not put up with being unhappy anymore, when I stood up and told Daddy what had happened, he tried to draw into himself like a shadow and sneak out of here the next morning without anyone even knowing he was gone.
From what I've learned since the morning he chose to brush his hands clean of us and walk out of here for good, this is his pattern.
He cannot commit long term.
He cannot be honest.
He cannot work a relationship without manipulating.
He cannot handle a strong, assertive woman.
He is looking for a doormat that will let him do whatever he wants.
The problem is, he has a nice cock, and he knows he has a nice cock.
He truly is a narcissist.
He is in love with nobody but himself, incapable of having true feelings for any body else.
When it comes down to it with him, if you're not willing to bend over and take it whenever he wants and worship his ego, then you're not worth anything to him and he'll toss you to the curb as fast as a bag of garbage.
Once he's done that he'll tell every one how he had NOTHING to do with any of it falling apart.
He came into this relationship with the intentions of finding jealousy and poking it until it erupted in all our faces. When he didn't find jealousy here, he tried to bring in someone else and create it, when that didn't work he pushed the boundaries to an inappropriate level and left me feeling...well, confused.
Hurt, embarrassed, ashamed. Also, s marter, stronger, and more out spoken.
I WILL NOT let this happen to me again.
The next time a guy is being a Dillhole, I WILL NOT wait a month and him taking advantage of me before I say something.
Speak out against the Dillholes!
DO NOT put up with their crap!
So yes, I dated a Dillhole, but I allowed him to be a Dillhole.
As such person is still active, but has currently disappeared from public; I am not sure where he can be found, and his public profile has been deactivated...but I am NOT shy about telling people who he is! If you'd really like to know I'll be happy to share that information.
HE IS A PREDATOR AND NEEDS TO BE WATCHED CAREFULLY!!
As for the girl he is currently protecting, I hope she sees the truth soon and doesn't end up getting hurt in the same way that I did. She chooses not to heed the warnings, and she has now taken down her public profile which was the only way I had of contacting her.
I can only imagine the *lovely* things he's saying in public about me.
If you hear ANYTHING regarding myself, Little One or Daddy and would like it confirmed or denied, please feel free to ask any of us, we'll all be more than happy to clear things up for you!
I let him be a Dillhole.
It wasn't alright.
If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about then you might want to check out "I dated a Dillhole-Part 1" and "I Dated a Dillhole-Part 2"..so I suppose this is the third installment. We'll call it a trilogy of Dillhole-ology. Hopefully I don't write like Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) and end up with a fourth part to my trilogy!
Being a Dillhole is something that certainly came naturally to him. I'm sure he could have curbed it some if he had actually cared to do so, but it's obvious to me now that he had some sort of sick and twisted agenda in mind before he ever actually became involved with anyone here. My theory on the Dillhole is that because he's known Little One for a while (before she officially became involved with Daddy and I) he was interested in pursuing a relationship with her.
Let's face it, she's a fantastic submissive! She's been very well trained in a few different formal styles of service, has a fantastic memory, is patient and listens well with an ability to repeat what's been said verbatim, and has a strong natural desire to to want to serve and make others happy.
I have this strong desire as well, but finding a person that I connect with enough to want to serve them is more difficult than it is for Sissy because she's had more of a chance to explore that side of herself and to know what it is she's seeking in a dominant partner, I'm going on this journey with Daddy and we're learning together..I'm still having trouble articulating what exactly it is that I'm looking for.
So, I don't really think that Dillhole intended to encounter us with Little One, it seems so odd to me that she had just mentioned him to us a few days before, she posted online that we'd be attending a specific event, and then pop there he is..after not being seen or heard from in several months. To me, this looks like he'd been keeping an eye on her, and was just waiting for her to show up somewhere for him to get his hands on her again.
The three of us all work on our communication skills daily, that's the point of this blog, and we all sit down before bed every night and discuss the day, and if there are any issues that need to be cleared up.
This is not something that Dillhole was expecting to encounter. I feel that he walked in here expecting our poly relationship to work like his didn't.
Which is to say that it's like because he had dishonesty, and manipulation in his previous relationships that was how this one would work. I'm happy to say that his attempts at destroying this relationship did not work, but I'd like to share the manipulation and deceitfulness with you as they were red flags that there was an issue and I chose to ignore them..
I want to share with you the story of how because I was careless, I ended up being VERY hurt in the end. Not just emotionally, but physically and mentally as well. I was taken advantage of (in other words..that everyone will understand, even though I was technically in a 'relationship' with him.... *I WAS RAPED*). {This is NOT an easy thing to admit, or say someone has done to you, but when you get right down to the heart of it, that *IS* what happened.}
I want every one else that ever finds themselves facing red flags to *STOP* and *THINK* before moving forward!
KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!
Dillhole was charming. He's handsome, and he knows it. Within a few days of meeting Dillhole his second ex-wife (they're technically still married..but the divorce is coming I'm sure) made a public post (not naming names...but he was quick to share it and tell us it was about him) talking all about how she was married to a narcissis t.
BIG RED FLA G.
I should have bailed RIGHT THERE.
NO QUESTIONS!
I didn't...
I did read the writing, I thought it was a tad harsh, but recognized that the situation between them was a tense one and she was clearly not happy with him. This happens, so that part of the equation wasn't so bad for me as far as a warning goes.
What should have been my next
BIG RED FLAG
was how quick he was to start saying how he couldn't stand when people gossip or talk about other people, but he had NO problem telling us all about his wife, and her new relationships, and his ex play partner and her personal life with her Dom.
Another
BIG RED FLAG
here is when he was talking about his ex play partner, and intimate times they shared together..certainly none of my business, but I also didn't like that he was discussing how they were having these intimate interactions without her Doms knowledge or consent. Dillhole swore that it was her that insisted upon the lie, and that he just 'went along with it'.
Honest people DO NOT lie.
It doesn't matter if you're asked to by someone else, or if it's your idea, if you're staying true to yourself then you don't get stuck in these situations.
So, there's the start of it. Next there was talk about how this member or that member of the community have issues with him.
BIG RED FLAG!!
The names he was mentioning were people I know, and am rather close with though don't speak to often due to life being busy. I should have slowed down for an hour or two and sent some emails. I would have found out fast what this guy was all about; as everyone was quite willing to share information with Daddy and I once we did start asking around.
BIIIIIIG RED FLAG
number four I think we're on now..(nope, number 5!) and this doesn't apply to everyone, just watch how it's done, no public profile in any way. I understand that not everyone wants to share pictures, but you should at least have a profile where you can be reached by friends, and have some information written about you, including your age, relationship status, d/s status, orientation and your identification. That way people will know if you're roughly compatible.
I mean, if Dillhole's profile had said that he was a "36 year old confused as fuck swinger that wants to stick his dick in everything that moves, behind his wife's back, and lie to her about it, isn't really bi like he claims, wants a woman that will just let him take her whenever he wants and only opens her mouth to suck a cock or take a load of cum" then I'd have known right away we weren't compatible.
I'm *sure* there are some women out there that this would work for; I don't happen to be one of them, and I would have happily told him that straight up, except he had his profile deactivated.
Why?
So many people were 'slandering' his name and 'harassing' him that he couldn't take it anymore. So he said.
Which actually meant that people were starting to learn the truth about him and it was coming out so he was trying to hide.
So yeah...be able to do your research, if someone doesn't have a profile but is dropping names of people you know..then
TALK TO THOSE PEOPLE!
Your friends want to help you..they don't want Dillhole's to wreck your relationship!
RED FLAG
number 6, inconsistencies in stories. People..particularly Dillhole, like to talk about themselves. So let them do this; when they tell the same story more than once, listen to the small details. Are they the same? Ask questions..and ask the same ones each time, is the answer the same? It should be. If not, why isn't it?
With Dillhole, Daddy, Sissy and I all found it rather easy to compare stories, because he'd be texting all of us at the same time while the three of us were sitting together. Don't lie when you're doing this.
It's NOT smart.
Also, when women choose to call each other sisters, you need to understand that means they have a TIGHT bond. If you try and turn them against each other you're going to find yourself having a bad time. We protect each other, we laugh together, we cry together, and we'll kick your pathetic ass together too! Little One and I had several conversations comparing notes after each spending some time alone with Dillhole, though it seemed that I never got much alone time with him, so it was really just her telling me about the stuff he was complaining about while they were together.
RED FLAG 7 -
Spending time with his face in his phone or computer non-stop while he's with you. When you live with someone this is harder to get around, because life still has to happen. Daddy has to look at the laptop instead of my face quite often, but we do try and set aside tech free time. This was something that I requested with Dillhole, and I was met with being told I'm too controlling and dominant.
It's odd, because in the moment I asked him to please put away the phone and come cuddle I was feeling very insecure, unsure, vulnerable and scared. EXACTLY the opposite of how he described me in the same situation..so perhaps Dillhole needs to brush up on his body language knowledge.
I do have to admit, the first time I requested to play with Dillhole, he was an excellent play partner. Though I was not thrilled to be told that I was the 62nd person he'd played on. It's sort of like going to a prostitute and right in the middle of fucking her asking how many times she's been paid to do this...know what I mean?
He was sensual, he was attentive, he was responsive. He was gentle, yet firm, and brought out in me the true desire to want to submit to him. The second time was very much the same. I saw him play with Little One the same way, and give her lots of attention, snuggles and aftercare. I watched him be the same attentive, caring man playing on Daddy occasionally with lots of communication, and care taken afterwards. Even from the first time I had a play experience with him, the aftercare was left to Daddy. It's a good way to make someone feel rejected, vulnerable, and like an inconvenience to you.
These are exactly the sorts of feelings I started having right after the very first time we played.
That's a
HUGE RED FLAG
and it's number 8 already! When I tried to express my feelings, I was ignored which lead to writing, me basically being told that I'm rude, have no consideration for other's privacy and I should only speak when spoken to. For 4 days that was exactly as I did with Dillhole. There was no email, no text, and he even requested to speak to me on the phone one evening, but I refused. He finally sent me a half assed apology that was still blaming me, and it turned into water under the bridge that he expected I would just forget was even there.
During all this time..there's also the pet.
A girl that I ended up discovering for myself is really rather sweet, and even a bit naive *maybe*; she might just be stupid and ignoring the warnings, because she's *in love* with him and has him to herself..for now anyway. Dillhole was constantly telling Daddy, Sissy and I how annoying he finds this girl. He hates her voice, he can't stand it when she sings, he despises country music and it's her favourite.
He repeatedly told us how unhappy he was with her behaviour, how disappointed he was that she doesn't have a shower running and dinner ready for him when he gets home from work (which I always did for him the night he arrived here from work) and on top of it all, he told us how he wouldn't ever have a sexual relationship with her, because she fucks everyone and he has no idea how clean she really is.
This is a point that was later brought up after her and Daddy had a few sessions together and one of them was accidentally in the heat of the moment unprotected. Dillhole informed Daddy that he really shouldn't have done that because she's the kind of girl that 'gets around' in his words.
Maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but if you're considering taking on this person as your own submissive, they are collared to you as a pet, and are under your protection, is this a way you should be speaking about them?
If I ever found out that Daddy had said such cruel and hurtful things about me I'd never be able to forgive him.
Dillhole's favourite form of punishment is to also withhold affection, and attention, which he would do to this girl regularly for the most absurd reasons. Although, there were also several times where he would say to us that he was going to punish her for something; a few days later when I would ask what punishment she ended up getting she would say there was none, or not even a discussion of the supposed offence that deserved punishment.
His favourite way for his submissives to show him affection?
Kisses?
No pe.
Hugs?
Nope.
Sitting quietly at his feet?
Uh..Nope again.
Rubbing and sucking his cock?
**DING!**
We have a winner! There were several occasions where Sissy and I would be laying here cuddling with Dillhole where we would both have our heads on a shoulder and we'd be holding hands on his chest or both of us just lightly tracing our fingers over his skin, when our hands would be moved to his cock and we (but mostly just I) were told THAT was the only acceptable way to show affection to him. This is not something I'm particularly comfortable with because to me that's a form of sexual contact, which is not always what I'm going for when I'm looking to show affection.
I'm also not comfortable showing that level of affection to another man in front of Daddy, even though Dillhole was supposed to be my Sir, Daddy is the only man that truly holds the majority of my heart, and I'll never put anyone on a level higher than that which I would show Daddy.
The next
BIG RED FLAG
(the 9th I think?) is when he started telling Little One that she does too much around the house, without him ever considering the dynamics we have worked out, or the way we've decided to split chores or anything. He was telling her that things aren't equal, and questioning her doing more work around the house than me and me getting more attention from Daddy than her.
To be clear, *nobody* that is currently in this relationship thinks there's any issue.
Daddy says that we'll never be able to make it equal, as much as he'd like to be able to, because him and I are married and will naturally spend more time together; he cannot make it *equal*, but that he always does his best to make sure things are *fair*.
That means that if I get a date night with Daddy, Sissy gets a date night with Daddy too. We both take turns running errands with him, or we all go together, and we do our best at splitting up housework. Childcare is a tricky subject as both kids are old enough to show a preference for who they'd like to talk with, and usually they pick Little One, that's one that unfortunately I have no control over, so if that's a little unbalanced I feel bad, but do try my best to help out where I can when it comes to that.
So, I'm bossy, and controlling, and talk too much, and talk too much for other people. I've known for a long time that I'm an empath, I'm very good at being able to reach into people's minds, sort out their feelings and spit it out, all while being diplomatic, calm and assertive.
Assertive is the part that Dillhole doesn't like about me. When I have a problem I say so. Only not always. I've spoken some about the major issue Dillhole and I had, where we had a fight and never got a chance to discuss the issue one on one just the two of us. Well, the last full day he spent here happened to be Easter Sunday.
Daddy and Sissy had gone out to get coffee, I thought it would be the perfect time for him and I to sit down and work out this problem we'd been dealing with for about a week. I had very hurt feelings, was feeling rejected and vulnerable, and he had been very icy cold with me from the time he had arrived Saturday evening.
That Saturday evening was the night that Dillhole had brought his pet here with him, and we all ended up playing around and having what everyone assumed was a safe, consensual, fun time by all.
Once we got to the discussion that happened that day we learned that it apparently wasn't consensual or fun for all.
Let's back up some though..back to Daddy and Sissy being gone. I popped into the bathroom to pee as they were leaving, and when I came back into the bedroom after I was done, I sat on the bed with Dillhole. I went to try to talk to him about our issue, when he leaned over and kissed me. He pushed me back on the bed a little and proceeded to hook his finger in the waist band of my panties and pull them down, he quickly slid his finger in and out of me once or twice and before I knew it, he was hard and pushing his cock into me.
I did not stop him, though I know I should have, I did not feel at the time like I was in a position that I could say stop (or even call a safeword) because I did not feel like I would be listened to. I did not feel like I would remain physically safe if I had said stop, and because of that I'm struggling mentally with the fact that I feel allowed myself to be taken advantage of.
During the time he was fucking me, my tummy became more and more upset, there was an overwhelming wave of nausea and I was just barely able to make him pay attention and stop before I threw up all over myself, and the bed.
I was sitting on the side of the bed crying, wiping my face with a tissue when Daddy and Sissy came in. I was SO embarrassed that I couldn't even tell Daddy what had happened right away...just that I wasn't feeling well and needed to shower.
I stood in the shower for a long time letting the water run over me, I cried for a bit..then I was angry.
Then I cried more. I was angry with myself for not saying something.
I AM angry that I didn't stop him.
There were LOTS of signs that he was a Dillhole.
I allowed it.
When I stood up and said I was not allowing it anymore, that's when he tucked tail and ran. When I said I would not put up with being unhappy anymore, when I stood up and told Daddy what had happened, he tried to draw into himself like a shadow and sneak out of here the next morning without anyone even knowing he was gone.
From what I've learned since the morning he chose to brush his hands clean of us and walk out of here for good, this is his pattern.
He cannot commit long term.
He cannot be honest.
He cannot work a relationship without manipulating.
He cannot handle a strong, assertive woman.
He is looking for a doormat that will let him do whatever he wants.
The problem is, he has a nice cock, and he knows he has a nice cock.
He truly is a narcissist.
He is in love with nobody but himself, incapable of having true feelings for any body else.
When it comes down to it with him, if you're not willing to bend over and take it whenever he wants and worship his ego, then you're not worth anything to him and he'll toss you to the curb as fast as a bag of garbage.
Once he's done that he'll tell every one how he had NOTHING to do with any of it falling apart.
He came into this relationship with the intentions of finding jealousy and poking it until it erupted in all our faces. When he didn't find jealousy here, he tried to bring in someone else and create it, when that didn't work he pushed the boundaries to an inappropriate level and left me feeling...well, confused.
Hurt, embarrassed, ashamed. Also, s marter, stronger, and more out spoken.
I WILL NOT let this happen to me again.
The next time a guy is being a Dillhole, I WILL NOT wait a month and him taking advantage of me before I say something.
Speak out against the Dillholes!
DO NOT put up with their crap!
So yes, I dated a Dillhole, but I allowed him to be a Dillhole.
As such person is still active, but has currently disappeared from public; I am not sure where he can be found, and his public profile has been deactivated...but I am NOT shy about telling people who he is! If you'd really like to know I'll be happy to share that information.
HE IS A PREDATOR AND NEEDS TO BE WATCHED CAREFULLY!!
As for the girl he is currently protecting, I hope she sees the truth soon and doesn't end up getting hurt in the same way that I did. She chooses not to heed the warnings, and she has now taken down her public profile which was the only way I had of contacting her.
I can only imagine the *lovely* things he's saying in public about me.
If you hear ANYTHING regarding myself, Little One or Daddy and would like it confirmed or denied, please feel free to ask any of us, we'll all be more than happy to clear things up for you!
Much Love,
~*~ Kat ~*~
~*~ Kat ~*~